Life Personal

Within, Without and Beyond.

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The Better Half.

There is a life external (to me), and a life internal (to me). I'm but the composite of the two as if the two make up a whole 'I'  / me, like a couple where one is the better half the other.

I identify myself as the one who has a life external as well as a life internal. 

In both lives I come across two issues. 

One is being Related while the another is being connected.

Either I may be related with my better half but not connected. Again I may be connected but not related. Happiness in life happens when I am connected and related also at the same moment. There are chances when there is dispute over certain thing or issues.

Occasionally there are times when life is going smooth and mind is in utter peace and silence.

Then something stirs and at once follows a sense of dissatisfaction, anger, anxiety and uncertainty of the future. There is an urge as well to remove or overcome the same or to getting rid of the situation so as to restore the peace and silence that I had been enjoying a moment ago.

Where-from comes up the desire?

Is it because of the urge that there is the desire or is because of the desire that the urge arises?

Doesn't the moment I start believing in the existence of something other than this spontaneous peace and silence, this urge assumes reality and raises its head?

This may be a trivial bodily need like the hunger, thirst, sleep, body-ache or a pain somewhere in the body or something like the weather that may cause uneasiness and discomfort of the kind.

The internal life affects the external and likewise the external affects the internal. 

It's like a square peg in a round hole or a round peg in a square hole.

But why do I expect or fear about the assumed future? Why do I think of it and hope that everything would / should go in my favor? Isn't it an external factor, an element that infiltrates the mind and overpowers me?

Is really there a future? Or there is only a thought of an assumed future, like in an abstract form that soon looks like a reality to me?

Still I can see and understand that I have neither the knowledge nor experience of  what is going to happen in the coming of the next moment.

Maybe, I can guess about the things of the purely physical and material kind, how could I possibly know before-hand through what states of mind I shall go in the next moment(s)? 

Precisely this is the utter ignorance and in a way the foolishness also that I get infatuated and overwhelmed by this idea of a hypothetical future and then want to affect a change over it.

What progress can I hope from all my efforts in trying and getting involved in  such an activity?

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