Ambiguity, Anxiety and Agony.

Thought, Thinker and Thinking. 

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With the emergence and manifestation of Life, which is essentially non-personal knowing of life, without an individual being as the knower, the Life-form at once gets associated, attached and then ultimately identified with the same. This sense of I'm this and such a being in the world, which I'm, though apart from, is neither me nor other than me.

The ambiguity and uncertainty about me and the world that belongs to me causes conflict in me about how to stay always happy in this world.

Though happiness is inconspicuous, the ambiguity, anxiety, agony, displeasure, disappointment are so evident that can't be denied. The fear and the apprehension about the future that invariably belongs to me and is like my world that is in my perception, could never be got rid of by any or whatsoever effort on my part.

Am I wrong in my approach in dealing with this matter?

I but certainly know that there is always something like a phenomenon, where I go through an experience, say like of the ambiguity, anxiety, fear, apprehension or agony and ruminate about the same in the very next moment or later on.

I hardly question or suspect, if I really think, or it is the thought that enters my consciousness, stays there for a moment, assumes reality and is gone off in the next moment!

If I am alert and attentive about this whole phenomenon / happening, soon it would be revealed to me that I am neither the thought nor I'm thinking. In the instant I can be aware that it's only the mind that assumes the dual role of the thought and the thinking together. If I can see this, I discover I never think nor can think. I only see and it is not that I can start or stop thinking or seeing.

There is absolutely nothing that I can do about thinking or seeing.

I can neither start, continue nor stop it.

Thought and thinking happen to me, but the seeing and the knowing exist only. They are always there in the background, not as two different ways of existence but only one and the same as a single Unique Reality.

So Who I'm?

Am I the thought, thinking, the mind that assumes thinking and believes it thinks,and is the thinker!

Or, I'm the underlying principle, the seeing and the knowing only?

Having understood this, could I then again be a victim of mind, thought, thinker and thinking any more?

Could then I say or utter "I"? 

Be free of ambiguity, anxiety and agony?

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