Observing Silence!

Walking Onto The Unknown Terrain.

So one day I found out I need :

Observing Silence.

There was the external world that I had to come across all the time and there were also people who had enough time that they didn't know how to deal with. They had done all they could do, thinking all the time about what to do next. They had earned as much and enough money that was sufficient to meet their normal day to day life. Though they tried their best, couldn't earn much more than that. They knew me and were my friends since my childhood days. All they wanted from me was that I pass time with them in the activity that they called "sarsang".

Thinking for so long how to get rid of them, it finally occurred to me that I should now try Observing Silence. So one fine day, when they were about to come to me, I scribbled on a piece of paper :

Observing Silence

and handed over the same to them.

I had no doubt they would try their best and every effort to pull me out from this endeavor.

Initially I had to face a big stress while doing this mentally. Earlier, for so long I had already tried chanting a mantra or a holy name, sometimes would experience kind of a trans too where not asleep yet there were no thought at all in the mind. Say there was a complete absence of the thought. But this state of mind couldn't last for as much long as I expected and again, soon I had to return to the same normal state of mind where my thoughts would dominate me and I couldn't have escape or respite from them. After some time, I come upon this idea of :

Observing Silence,

And at once noticed that so far I hadn't even started  :

Observing the thought.

I could see observing the thought meant just observing without getting involved or indulging in the thought / thoughts.

Then I come upon the understanding that Observing implies my attention is focused upon the Silence that was there always as and in the background of all and whatever thought(s) come into mind and not really / exactly on the thought(s) as such. So far in the name of observing thoughts I was focusing the attention on the thoughts and not upon the Silence  wherein all thoughts keep on appearing and disappearing in their own way and I had no control whatsoever upon them.

This understanding as a sudden flash of light awakened me to the truth that no one teach you Awareness . Only if you have urge and earnestness, you can sure discover this for yourself, and can also see no one can share this understanding with anyone else. Later on, there was a breakthrough when I realized that those friends and people could lure me into a discussion on one or another pretext and because I was not aware of their trick (and though they too were probably like me!) all my :

Observing Silence

Would turn into distraction of one or the another kind.

This is how it happens.

You just can't practice or make it like a habit.

Now I never struggle to attain a poise in Observing Silence.

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