During 1991, from Feb. to Dec. and 2 next months in 1992, I was living in an ashram in OmkAreshvara.
There was also a lady named Madhu didi, living in the same Ashrama. This was an evening of June month. The Ashrama had no regular electric facility and the Narmada-bank where this ashram is situated is hilly, and fear-some. There were many wild serpents, and other such animals.
That evening We did our evening meditation in our rooms, and then came to the common kitchen for the night meals. Those days I usually kept doing japa and would occasionally come across some great 'Trans-like' experiences also.
It was about 9:00 p.m. On the ground / floor of the kitchen, she was sitting before me on my right and I on her left. I had finished my meals already, and was just waiting for her to finish hers.
Suddenly I felt the whole atmosphere undergoing a tremendous change. She was just busy with her meals. We both were silent. Then I 'saw' in some subtle plane that 'devI' (Mother Goddes) was coming to us. I could just have the sense of 'vibrations' around in the surroundings. I felt, devI would soon be there before us, within the next minute. I was not at all scared, but felt, She (Mother Goddess) was riding on the Tiger's back. I had no fear of tiger either, but was not sure if Madhu didi could or couldn't face devI and Her Tiger. So just to help her in case she may not faint down and have such a life-time experience / vision, I whispered :
"didi, mAtAjI may be here any moment, so please have heart and don't panic, I am telling just in case you could not stay the vision, and I am with you here."
But I was disappointed to see that Madhu didi could not even hear my words. She was very frightened. Then she somehow finished hastily her meals. And within the next two minutes the whole atmosphere suddenly underwent a dramatic change. I felt, as if the Mother Goddess, in the last moments decided to not come before us. The whole atmosphere was again dark as it was a few minutes ago when I had first sensed Her arrival.
After some ten minutes, when I wanted to go up-stairs to my room for retiring, Madhu didi said;
"tumane mujhe darA diyA, ab mai akele yahAn nahIn raha pAuungI."
tum Aj yahIn so jaao. There was a bed outside her room.
I sensed it was futile to argue with her, and said o.k.
When after a half an hour when I saw her entering her room, I feigned asleep. When I felt she must have slept and no more awake, I called her to check if she is really lost in deep sleep. She didn't reply. I stealthily, without making a noise, left for my room up-stairs.
When in the next morning I woke up about 3:45, I came down just to check if she was o.k. She was still asleep, snoring.
When at around 5:45 I again came down, she was still sleeping. And as it was my duty to prepare the morning tea, I took some big dry sagaun leaves, lit the fire in the chulhA and put the kettle upon it.
After a while the day began as usual.
This is because you wanted to see 'uma'.
It is not easy to have Her 'darshan' without a great fortune, and even if you eventually come upon such a chance by Her Grace, may be you yourself would get so frightened that you would not have courage for the same.
And this is a true story.
And The vision that I had of 'uma' was a distant one, though immensely Great.
I would like to add here that during those days Madhu didi used to do an elaborate anuShThAna of some kind, of ShrI-yantra sadhanA./ ShrI-vidyA sAdhanA. And she had also witnessed some mystic experiences which she attributed to my presence.
Blessings.
--
Q : BhagavAn, ye kathA Apne mujhe pahle bhI sunAI thee!
--
Me : Really there is nothing to be fear about a darshana. You often visit those Gods / Goddesses in dreams. What is the difference? When our mind crosses over from one state of consciousness to another, it is difficult to stay aware of this change. When from the waking state we (our consciousness, mind) enter the dream state, usually this is a smooth transition of state. We first forget all about our surroundings. Then some memory comes up on the screen of our mind and our attention gets centered to it. Then another state is there and our imaginations, fears desires, hopes, swing into play and we get easily accommodated. When the dream ends because of whatsoever reason, we don't feel scared, May be we feel sad or happy but hardly we feel frightened, because we know that it was a dream only.
The same thing happens when we meditate upon some God / Goddess, His mantra, name or image. That too happens in such a way that first our attention is removed from the surroundings and gets focused on the God / Goddess, mantra, or the image. This is again a smooth transition of attention from this waking level to that mental level.
But when this happens all of a sudden and sometimes without our knowing, we are not prepared and that feeling results in a sense of fear. We only know we are afraid, but don't know why! We only know that something is going to happen to 'me' but not, 'what'.
So, this happens with every-one.
While thinking of God / Goddess, we accept and imagine the things according to our convenience. But when we actually face them in trans-like / samadhi-like state, They sometimes show us their Real form which may be quite different than our imagined forms of them.
So it is easy to say; "I want to see shiva / uma / ganesha , .. but when the real thing happens it may be a frightening experience. So this needs great love and willingness to be able to have darshana of the God.
Blessings !!
--
There was also a lady named Madhu didi, living in the same Ashrama. This was an evening of June month. The Ashrama had no regular electric facility and the Narmada-bank where this ashram is situated is hilly, and fear-some. There were many wild serpents, and other such animals.
That evening We did our evening meditation in our rooms, and then came to the common kitchen for the night meals. Those days I usually kept doing japa and would occasionally come across some great 'Trans-like' experiences also.
It was about 9:00 p.m. On the ground / floor of the kitchen, she was sitting before me on my right and I on her left. I had finished my meals already, and was just waiting for her to finish hers.
Suddenly I felt the whole atmosphere undergoing a tremendous change. She was just busy with her meals. We both were silent. Then I 'saw' in some subtle plane that 'devI' (Mother Goddes) was coming to us. I could just have the sense of 'vibrations' around in the surroundings. I felt, devI would soon be there before us, within the next minute. I was not at all scared, but felt, She (Mother Goddess) was riding on the Tiger's back. I had no fear of tiger either, but was not sure if Madhu didi could or couldn't face devI and Her Tiger. So just to help her in case she may not faint down and have such a life-time experience / vision, I whispered :
"didi, mAtAjI may be here any moment, so please have heart and don't panic, I am telling just in case you could not stay the vision, and I am with you here."
But I was disappointed to see that Madhu didi could not even hear my words. She was very frightened. Then she somehow finished hastily her meals. And within the next two minutes the whole atmosphere suddenly underwent a dramatic change. I felt, as if the Mother Goddess, in the last moments decided to not come before us. The whole atmosphere was again dark as it was a few minutes ago when I had first sensed Her arrival.
After some ten minutes, when I wanted to go up-stairs to my room for retiring, Madhu didi said;
"tumane mujhe darA diyA, ab mai akele yahAn nahIn raha pAuungI."
tum Aj yahIn so jaao. There was a bed outside her room.
I sensed it was futile to argue with her, and said o.k.
When after a half an hour when I saw her entering her room, I feigned asleep. When I felt she must have slept and no more awake, I called her to check if she is really lost in deep sleep. She didn't reply. I stealthily, without making a noise, left for my room up-stairs.
When in the next morning I woke up about 3:45, I came down just to check if she was o.k. She was still asleep, snoring.
When at around 5:45 I again came down, she was still sleeping. And as it was my duty to prepare the morning tea, I took some big dry sagaun leaves, lit the fire in the chulhA and put the kettle upon it.
After a while the day began as usual.
This is because you wanted to see 'uma'.
It is not easy to have Her 'darshan' without a great fortune, and even if you eventually come upon such a chance by Her Grace, may be you yourself would get so frightened that you would not have courage for the same.
And this is a true story.
And The vision that I had of 'uma' was a distant one, though immensely Great.
I would like to add here that during those days Madhu didi used to do an elaborate anuShThAna of some kind, of ShrI-yantra sadhanA./ ShrI-vidyA sAdhanA. And she had also witnessed some mystic experiences which she attributed to my presence.
Blessings.
--
Q : BhagavAn, ye kathA Apne mujhe pahle bhI sunAI thee!
--
Me : Really there is nothing to be fear about a darshana. You often visit those Gods / Goddesses in dreams. What is the difference? When our mind crosses over from one state of consciousness to another, it is difficult to stay aware of this change. When from the waking state we (our consciousness, mind) enter the dream state, usually this is a smooth transition of state. We first forget all about our surroundings. Then some memory comes up on the screen of our mind and our attention gets centered to it. Then another state is there and our imaginations, fears desires, hopes, swing into play and we get easily accommodated. When the dream ends because of whatsoever reason, we don't feel scared, May be we feel sad or happy but hardly we feel frightened, because we know that it was a dream only.
The same thing happens when we meditate upon some God / Goddess, His mantra, name or image. That too happens in such a way that first our attention is removed from the surroundings and gets focused on the God / Goddess, mantra, or the image. This is again a smooth transition of attention from this waking level to that mental level.
But when this happens all of a sudden and sometimes without our knowing, we are not prepared and that feeling results in a sense of fear. We only know we are afraid, but don't know why! We only know that something is going to happen to 'me' but not, 'what'.
So, this happens with every-one.
While thinking of God / Goddess, we accept and imagine the things according to our convenience. But when we actually face them in trans-like / samadhi-like state, They sometimes show us their Real form which may be quite different than our imagined forms of them.
So it is easy to say; "I want to see shiva / uma / ganesha , .. but when the real thing happens it may be a frightening experience. So this needs great love and willingness to be able to have darshana of the God.
Blessings !!
--
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